Winner of the Book Giveaway: A Different Kind Of Blossom

ANNOUNCING the WINNER of OUR BOOK GIVEAWAY!!! :)

And the winner is...

(drum roll please...)

Tina Worden, who said:

"Love is....(as applied to our children) - that undeniable feeling that you would do anything for them, to include laying down your life for them unconditionally no matter what they have done Just as Jesus did for all of us."

CONGRATULATIONS TINA!!
Thanks for entering our giveaway. May you be blessed as you see how God worked through the lives of Rhonda's family over the last few years, bringing them hope and renewal. He is a good God. I think you are going to love this book. Check your email about where to go from here.

Anyone else interested in reading more about this book, or purchasing a copy of "A Different Kind of Blossom, Essays about our Journey through a Mental Illness", may go to www.adifferentkindofblossom.com.

God's Redemptive Work. Part Two

I've been listening to some of Casting Crown's songs lately because our church just hosted a Casting Crowns concert. I am realizing that I LOVE every single song they have ever written, so that's fun! :) This one, in particular, seemed to tie into the "Redemptive" theme that God brought to my attention yesterday and it SCREAMED comforting so I thought I might share it with you. Hope it blesses you like it blesses me. You are never tied to your past sins. God's message to you is that you may move forward in new freedom knowing that "it" is as far from you as the East is from the West when you ask forgiveness and lay it in God's hands. Lord, teach us to live out that freedom and to honor you with our lives. Amen. Enjoy this beautiful song. You are loved. <3

God's Redemptive Work.

Inspired while listening to Faith Radio today.

"When someone places a judgment on you they try to place a period on the end of that sentence. God takes that period and puts a new ending on that sentence."
~Susie Larson

Thank you Lord, for your redemptive work on our lives.

God, let us not be held down by our past failures, but be renewed by your sweet cleansing redemption. We need you Lord. We are available to you. Empower us. Speak your truth over us, and transform us into sons and daughters who bless you with our lives, Lord. We put our hope and our trust in you as we move forward in obedience to you. Take each stronghold and replace it with sweet release and freedom. Take each regret and transform it into something new and glorious.
Where we have emptiness give us fullness.
Where we have pain, give us healing.
Where there is sorrow, bring joy.

Amen.

BOOK GIVEAWAY TIME: A Different Kind Of Blossom

MY VERY FIRST BOOK GIVEAWAY ON BECOMFORTED.COM

I have not been doing any book giveaways because I have not wanted to mess with them, but THIS one is worth it, and YOU are worth it, so here it is folks!

I have been intentionally building up this book giveaway for some time now because I just love the authors so much and I believe in their message....love, hope, grace, perseverance, etc. etc. I am happy to get this beautiful book into someone's hands. :) Might it be you? Now that you have heard a little bit about Rhonda and her twin sons from the previous couple of posts I have done about them (if you have not checked those out yet you might want to do that) , here's a little tidbit about their book, A Different Kind Of Blossom~

A Different Kind Of Blossom is a book of personal essays about a mother, Rhonda McMillon, who has a mental illness. The book also includes essays by her three sons and their grandmother about how they learned to understand Rhonda’s mental illness. A Different Kind Of Blossom focuses on how individuals with mental illness, like all others, need to be heard, honored, respected, and given unconditional love. It describes how faith in Jesus Christ, love for the family, and understanding mental illness can help relationship between families grow into a beautiful flower.

I believe in the future of this family, and I think you will too, as you read this book. They pour their hearts out onto these pages. They are very genuine about the hardships they have faced, the insecurities, the questions, the doubts, the and the agonizing desperation of not understanding the mental illness that snuck its way into their family. Pick up this book. It's an easy read. It's just a compilation of short essays that allow you to see into the lives of a single mother and 3 her teenage sons and her mother. Read and be a part of their journey as it unfolds as they sort through the pain and questions of a severe mental illness that Rhonda could not control. Then, you have the pleasure of reading the end where Rhonda's mother, Essie, wraps it up with helpful tips and enjoy reading the boys insights about a deeper, clearer understanding of what love is that they only could have learned from this experience with their mother.

Look at me. I'm giving the whole book away!!!! Sign up for the giveaway if you want to know what the book says, for crying out loud!!! :)

---------------------------

Here's how to enter this book giveaway:

Post a comment leaving the following information:
Your name.
A way to contact you. (email?)
Answer this question: Love is...
(Your answer can be fun, short, long, deep,
whatever mood you are in-it counts as an entry)

ONE ENTRY PER PERSON PLEASE.

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WINNER will be chosen at random and will be announced on
FRIDAY, AUGUST 19, 2011

Rhonda's boys: Life with a mother who develops a serious mental illness.

THERE WAS SOMETHING DIFFERENT ABOUT THEM...
It was something about the way they looked at me when we came into KFC that struck me as different. I came in with my three kids frazzled, as usual, trying to get a quick lunch. I ordered our usual...kid's meals for all the kids and a popcorn chicken for myself...just something to get everyone happy and get through the afternoon. The twins who worked at KFC were hard workers and they were very kind every time we came in. I always felt relieved when they were working because I knew they were going to be nice to me. I didn't know them by name. I just knew their smile, and I knew what their smile meant to me. The last thing I needed was another person looking at me like I was crazy because I couldn't keep my kids under control, because my kids were not well groomed, because I was feeding my kids fast food instead of fruits and veggies, or because my hair was a mess. After my third child, I had become ultra-sensitive to the disapproving looks of those who did not like my "parenting techniques", (the "looks" were EVERYWHERE) so there was something about the way these boys looked at me that meant A LOT to me. It was the look of grace. I stopped getting that look somewhere after my third kid...or rather, I stopped noticing that look because I became too busy obsessing over the next time I would get the glare of disapproval.

WHERE DO THESE BOYS COME FROM?
"These boys are set apart. They will not always work at KFC. They are going to do something with their lives someday," I remember thinking to myself. They were teen-aged boys. They were not your typical teen-aged boys. They worked with integrity even though nobody forced them to. They worked with a 'can-do' attitude and they were very selfless. "How does a parent raise boys to turn into such well-mannered young men who work hard, as if the world does not constantly owe them something?" I wondered. This is actually very rare around where we live. They seemed so refreshingly different from other teenage boys I knew. This is not to blame any other teenage boys...I just couldn't figure these two out. Where do they come from? :)

WAIT!? I KNOW YOU!?
Later, I saw them walking down the hallway of our church with my friend, Rhonda McMillon. (Rhonda just did a guest post for the BeComforted.com site) "WAIT A MINUTE!!!! ARE THESE YOUR BOYS!?!" I was so excited! I was friends with their mom!!! Yay!!! I not only knew their mom, but I was in a Bible Study with their mom! I learned their names...Marcus and Marcellus English. What a privilege it is to call them my brothers in Christ!

IT'S COMING TOGETHER NOW...
As time went on, I started to understand that it was actually hard times that shaped those boys into who they were. It wasn't a bunch of "fluff and stuff". Those boys were strong in their core TODAY because of the fire they had been through YESTERDAY. WOW!!! I had no idea at the time. {This is only meant to be a teaser people...you must read the book to really get to know these boys.} :) I am not going to lay out their whole story here in this post, but I will give you a parenting thought, and we are going to have a book giveaway SOON. :)

NOTE TO PARENTS...
Pray your kids through the hard times. Trust God to be at work in their lives. They ARE going to go through some rough patches from time to time. It's not going to be all fluff and stuff. Those hard times are going to be their "refining" moments. Do not protect them from those times by pulling them away from those times, but rather, pray them through them and be present as they learn to pull through them, teaching your children to cling to God as they learn to pull through to the other side of their trial. How we deal with our trials today will determine how we fair on the other side. Teach your children to take their problems to the one who can help them sort through them in a healthy way and bring healing in their life.

BOOK GIVEAWAY COMING UP...
As I read Rhonda's book, A Different Kind of Blossom, that she wrote along with her sons and mother, I smiled as I read about how her boys did not want to work at KFC. They wanted, instead, to be ordering food from KFC. (that sounds normal) :) I enjoyed reading about how the family gathered around the table to read the Bible together and I imagined how that was probably strength-building for those boys and how it probably gave them focus, hope to cling to, and something bigger to believe in when they were faced with the hardships of seeing their mother go through the process of identifying how to handle life with a very serious mental illness.

I love this family. I know you will too. Next post. A brief paragraph describing A Different Kind of Blossom and a book giveaway so one lucky winner can get their very own copy of her book.

To read Rhonda McMillon's guest post about discovering, and dealing with, a mental illness you may click here.

Guest Post: One Believer's Struggle with Schizoaffective Disorder, Depressive Type

Rhonda McMillon was the beautiful woman who sat across me at the table at church during my Bible Study group a couple of summer's ago. Her words encouraged me in some of my more challenging mothering years (I'm still in them, actually). I found her tone to be comforting and I liked that. The irony of the situation is that in a room full of what she would have considered to be "normal" people she was the one I seemed to most easily bond with in the room. (Don't read into that) ;) Her spirit is warm and inviting, and her personality is fun, yet deep. Through her journey she has embraced God's grace in her life, and she readily offers it to everyone she comes in contact with. Meet author, mother, and my personal friend, Rhonda McMillon...

MY DIAGNOSIS

Schizoaffective Disorder, Depressive Type is the official diagnosis I received in April of 2006. That's what the attending psychiatrist told me the second or third day of my stay in a psychiatric hospital. She went on to inform me that my mental breakdown was due to the above brain disorder; a type of mental illness in which episodes of schizophrenia (hallucination, delusions, and disorganized thinking) overlap with episodes of depression.

After years of my mind being shattered with crazy thoughts of suicide, sleeping all day long and hearing voices of people that were not present, I breathed a sigh of relief. Finally, the verse Isaiah 61:1, "He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted," was coming true for me. Here is my story. I hope it will help you to realize that God is there for you in your darkest hours.

MY STORY: Healing For My Broken Heart

After coming home from the psychiatric hospital, I wasn't aware that I was in for a roller coaster ride of seeking diving healing. I asked God to heal my broken heart by completely taking away Schizoaffective Disorder, Depressive Type. I falsely believed that if this mental illness was gone, I wouldn't have any more problems in my life. At the time, I didn't realize I had asked Jesus for something that wouldn't happen.

SEARCHING FOR MY HEALING

I hoped to find my solution by writing to prayer ministries on T.V. and asking to receive healing from my mental disability. Also, I stood in prayer lines at churches requesting that this sickness be taken away. I was assured Jesus would answer my diligent prayers. After about a year...nothing.

I remember asking my psychiatrist to please do something for me. She politely told me to continue taking my medication, seeing my counselor, and start attending an Adult Day Treatment program. I did this for a little while...nothing. Devastation closed in around my heart. I didn't consistently follow through with my doctor's treatment plans because inwardly I was embarrassed about having a mental disability. I just wanted it gone-out of my life for good.

I came up with another one of my "solutions". Instead of overcoming my own stigmas about mental illness, I would go back to school to prove I was "normal". My psychiatrist suggested that if I enrolled in school I should take it slow by attending one class at a time. However, I didn't listen. I decided to enroll full time and attended four classes. Also, I talked myself into needing to make straight A's.

I did happen to make excellent grades. However, because of the stress of a full time school schedule, memory lapses and disorganized thinking (symptoms of Schizo-affective Disorder), I couldn't store information in my long term memory. Therefore, I was unable to succeed at a job in the field that I went to school for. This failure only reinforced my fear that I wasn't normal. I was brokenhearted.

My next solution was to get a job. There is nothing wrong with working. Yet, I returned to work because I was feeling worthless and embarrassed about accomplishing nothing. Once I began working, I did experience better self-esteem. However, when I started having episodes of euphoria, I falsely believed that God had healed me and began taking less of my medication until I just came to the point where I stopped using it. Also, I avoided attending my counseling and psychiatric appointments.

In 2009, because I was no longer seeking treatment, I had another mental breakdown. Exhaustion overwhelmed me as I wondered why God hadn't healed me. That's when I gave up and prayed not my will be done, Father, YOUR will be done.

A couple of days after that prayer, my mother called and said she had been praying for me. She peacefully suggested that it was time for me to take my medication and see my doctors again. Also, she lovingly explained that having a mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of. Needing help is nothing to be embarrassed about.

THE SHIFT HAPPENED IN MY HEART, INSTEAD OF IN MY BRAIN.

At that moment, a shift began to take place in my heart. It was grace and love moving through the core of my being like a soft, warm summer breeze. No, my brain disorder was not healed. Don't get me wrong. I do believe that God does completely take away illnesses from many people. However, this didn't happen to me. I don't know why God has other plans for my life. I can just tell you a healing happened on the inside of my heart.

As I began to see my illness with the eyes of my heart filled with Christ's love, I started my recovery process over. This time I realized that God blessed me with medication and doctors to help me to become stable. As the medication lessened the hallucinations, disorganized thinking and depressive episodes, I began to pray that God bless me with the help, love and grace to accept that I will have this brain disorder for the rest of my life. In December of 2009, my prayer was answered. I was surfing the WEB and came across the site, www.NAMI.org (National Alliance on Mental Illness). This is a support group for people with mental disabilities and their families.

SEEKING SUPPORT OUTSIDE OF MYSELF: MY NAMI MEETINGS.

I was nervous when I attended my first NAMI meeting. However, as people with mental illnesses began to speak up, my embarrassment about myself began to melt away. Now I understand that mental disabilities affect many people from various cultures and classes. A deep peace came from within me as Jesus opened my heart to accept that I have no reason to be ashamed of having a mental illness.

It's now July 26, 2011, five years and three months after I have been diagnosed with Schizo-affective Disorder, Depressive Type. At times I still suffer through trickles of depression and days with my mind cracking like eggshells. It's in these moments that I call out to God to help me to love Him and those around me despite having a mental illness. And God, please help me to be faithful with my doctor's treatment plan for me. Then, I'll sense God's grace settle on me like a soft, warm blanket bringing peace to my heart. That's when I remember some of the many ways Isaiah 61:1 is alive and active in my life.

Instruments God has used to bind up my broken up heart these past few years:

1. Jesus has blessed me with a wonderful family who support me. He has even healed our relationship to the point where we have written a book about our experience as a family living with a loved one with Schizoaffective Disorder, Depressive Type. The book is titled: A Different Kind of Blossom, Essays about our Journey through a Mental Illness, which is available for purchase at www.adifferentkindofblossom.com
2. God has surrounded me with a wonderful,caring mentor, Jamie Standefer, and other good friends who love me just as I am, mental illness and all.
3. Before I had treatment for my mental disability, I wandered from church to church seeking for an authentic, intimate relationship with Christ. Now I am blessed with a church home where I can grow in the love of Christ.
4. Most of all, God continues to heal my heart into realizing that my worth doesn't come from money, career, or mental ability but from my identity in Christ. The important thing for me to do is to live out His love for me and my love for Him and others. Amen.

About the author:

Rhonda McMillon lives in Valparaiso, Indiana where she loves being a mother to her three sons, Marcus, Marcellus, and Nicholas. She, along with her three sons and her mother, Essie McMillon, coauthored the book: A Different Kind of Blossom, Essays about our Journey through a Mental Illness, which is available for purchase at www.adifferentkindofblossom.com

BONUS!!!!

BOOK GIVEAWAY COMING UP!!!

STAY TUNED!!

Are you interested in learning more about Rhonda's story? She joined with her mother and her three sons in creating a book that reaches out to those with a mental illness and the famililes of those with a mental illness. If you loved getting to know Rhonda through this post, you will also love getting to know her family through their book. Check for an upcoming post to find out more about our book giveaway. One lucky winner is going to win their very own copy of Rhonda McMillon's A Different Kind of Blossom Book!!!! It could be you!!! Stay tuned!!!!

You know the depths of my heart and you love me the same. YOU are AMAZING God!!!

"Remind me who I am. If I am your beloved help me to believe it."

Those are the well chosen words to a song I just listened to this morning. That's been my prayer over and over and over again this year. I would go into work at the retail shop I used to work at and I would weave between the racks of clothes praying to God, "God, you love me, right?" I mean, sincerely that was my daily prayer, and I can't tell you why. It was just this feeling I couldn't shake.

Have you ever felt like that? It's a humble feeling. It's not a fun-I'm-gonna-call-my-friends-on-a-Friday-night-and-see-what-everybody's-doing-kinda-feeling...it's like a broken down "I guess this is where I'm at sooooo...uhhh....God? You love me, right?" kinda feeling..."

To be in this place is to be in a fragile place-a place of vulnerability. A person hitting this spot in their life is not usually the one seeking out their highest hopes for themselves, living up to their greatest potential, striving to be the next American Idol at all cost. Sarcasm is a way of coping. The idea of American Idol (or other things like that) start to seem humorously ridiculous to someone in this frame of mind. Why would anyone do THAT? :)

Obviously, I have some things to work through. I am. Don't worry. I mean, pray for me, if you feel led, but know that God is dealing with me day by day and I am not at a stand still or I would not be able to write this with such honesty. Someday I will be able to disclose more of my "reality" but today will not be that day.

Today I want to leave you with this:

There was a time when Ecclesiastes was my book--it's the "everything is meaningless" book in the Bible. I could relate to that mindset. I am happy to say that God brought a new book to my attention the other day. I began to relate to the Psalms more...not the ones where David asks God to kill off his enemies and such...the ones where he refers to his relationship with God and what it has meant to him. What a refreshing change of pace!!!!!!!! Here's a little bit from Psalm 139: (along with some of the tidbits I felt like God was trying to say to me specifically that I thought might be beneficial to someone else as well)

PSALM 139

1.You have searched me, LORD,
and you know me.
(no one else knows you... in fact, even you don't understand yourself to the extent that God does. God knows things about you -your genetic make-up, your history, your future, etc.-that even you can't wrap your mind around)

² You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
(he knows what you are thinking and why you are thinking it...you may surprise a lot of people by being how "weird", "different", "insensitive", "sinful", etc. you are, but you don't surprise God--He gets you)

³ You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
(He sees what you are up to, He knows why you do what you do. Where a boss might be quick to harp on you for being late, God sees why are late...no explanation necessary...does that make sense?)

⁴ Before a word is on my tongue
you, LORD, know it completely.
(Bleh! . . . yiddy dibbiddy. . . see? He knew I was gonna do that?)

⁵ You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
(mmm. . . ahhhh. . . . READ that one again!!! Hem me in, and lay your hand upon me--comfort. . . Thank you Lord for your hand of comfort and protection.)

⁶ Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
(Thank you God for loving me and taking care of me, protecting me, knowing all the different sides of me that make no sense to anyone else and that stuff to me that even I cannot explain if I tried. Your knowledge is too wonderful to me, and gives me reason to trust you all the more)

⁷ Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?

(Thank you that you are always with me...especially on my hard days)

¹³ For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

(even my genetic make-up...the things that set me apart that make others look at me like I am from another planet...YOU decided to make those things a part of me, so I will choose to embrace those things.)

¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

(I will choose to trust that you only would have made me this way if you wanted me this way, and that if for some reason you wanted me to be some other way that you would have made that happen. I will trust that who I am is what you consider to work well for your plan here on earth.)

¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.

(I'm not an "Ooops, good enough. I guess that will do" creation, but rather, an "okay, let's see, If I could make anything I wanted ((and I can because I am God)), this is EXACTLY what I would make at EXACTLY this time for EXACTLY this family, etc. etc..")

MY PRAYER

Thank you Lord, for giving us the Psalms to relate to. Thank you for using them to remind me that you know me and get me, so I can rest in your love for me. When I am sensing that I am being judged I can I turn to you and ask, "Who Do YOU say I am, again?" BELOVED!!! OH!!! That's a RICH word. That's a healing word. I need that word today. Thank you Lord, for calling each of us that no matter where we come from. We are not a mistake to you. NOPE. We are your BELOVED!!! Amen.

AWESOME SONG TIME!!!!!!!!!!