A little bit ago I wrote about how building your vocabulary can increase your beauty.
Today I would like to take that thought one step further.
There is a word for when we develop a habit of bringing out the beauty in those around us and building them up, through the words we choose to speak about them. The Bible calls this edification.
Romans 14:19 says, "Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification." NIV
How do you choose to talk about the people in your life? Chances are good that if you are consistently beating yourself up for the ways you do not measure up then you will naturally do the same for anyone around you. Give yourself grace, and then offer it to those around you.
Colossians 3:13 says, "Make allowance for each others faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others." (New Living Translation)
I was listening to Author and Speaker, Kendra Smiley, on Faith Talk Radio today. In her interview she blatantly said, "We're all annoying! You have to allow other people to have 3 glaring faults...Someone is making accommodations for you, so you need give them the same grace. "
She referred to Ephesians 4:2, which says, "Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love."
Paul says it this way, in 1 Thessalonians 5:11 "Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing."
A word to Teens...
Are you in need of a good friend? Be a friend. ;) Seriously. Try it. It works.
A word to Wives...
Wives, do you want to see good things in your man? Start acknowledging the good that is already in him, and find ways to address the less-than-pleasant characteristics in a way that does not belittle him or tear him down. Always be on the hunt for the good in him, and be deliberate in lavishing it on him if you are not already in the habit of doing so. Build up the vocabulary you choose to use to describe your husband.
Instead of saying, "lazy, careless, shy, stupid, annoying" or "only cares about football and beer" choose to use words like, "hard-working, bread winner, handsome, charming, funny, reserved" and "took time to eat lunch with the family today". :) Take some time to come up with words that express the good he is doing on your behalf and on behalf of his family, and the potential that lies within him. Remind him of some of the things he has done in the past that were great, just for fun. Boost his ego on a day when you can tell he could use a little ego boosting. If you are really struggling to come up with anything, read some Father's Day and Anniversary cards for ideas. There is bound to be one that fits your man. ;)
If this is still hard for you to do, start praying for him every day until you have eyes to see him more and more the way God sees him. God is crazy about him, and has created him just the way he is for specific purposes. Help him to see that, through the way you speak about him, and encourage him to seek God's purposes in His life. If there are issues in his life that need addressing, pray for him and seek God's leading in dealing with those issues, but never present them in a public forum, without his consent. Respect your man. Tackle the issues you have with him in your own home, between the two of you, or with a counselor or good friend(s) you can trust.